The Love Alien

In her poem “The Love Alien,” Kate McNicholas’ speaker explores love and the manner in which love often presents itself. Is there a right method, speed or language to express this feeling? Kate McNicholas explores all that and more in her poem, which can be found below.

 The Love Alien

Kate McNicholas

For me it’s the eye contact
Her astounding ability to kiss without thinking
It’s why I think too much all of the time
About her or otherwise

It’s why my favorite act is simply holding hands
Because neither of us are trapped
It’s voluntary and involuntary at the same time

Because the rest for me just isn’t natural
They told me liking girls made me a freak I figured out that wasn’t true
But maybe the freakish part for me is how easy it should be to love you
I sit glimpsing at others pupils instead of staring into your soul
Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that when you look back you won’t find one

Because in my head I am giving you galaxies but my little finger is still light years away from yours in reality
And gravity is pulling with the heavy load of “supposed tos” but for me it has never been a fall
I’ve never tripped into someone’s arms felt the blankness of neurology or the time travel they talk about

The line of your back astounds me
and as I receive it with my finger I feel ashamed
because this is all I need but you need so much more

Maybe I am a freak
Not because of who I love but because of how I do
Lust is not a word that exists in my dictionary
And the pages are tattered from efforts to find the right words to string into sentences beaded with flirtation and insinuation
To search endlessly for the perfect phrases that never escape autocorrect from another force

I write it all down because you looking at me that way cuts my tongue
Feelings are feelings and words are words and I can never combine the two in layers you are worthy of
But god do I feel for you

So I’m sorry that it hurts me to love
That I must be a guinea pig for someone up above
Because they once thought and said let’s see how hard we can make it
Because I feel like an opposite to the usual that somebody conjured

But you should know that my handwriting is laced with the lipstick of unspoken words
That just won’t leave my cranial fibers the correct way
Because this love is deeper than that

How I feel is an unspoken language
That is more that the gaps of air between kisses
More than my weighted silence when your body is against mine
More than the goosebumps that turn my skin into mountain ranges because our fingers just crossed into the twilight zone and reached impact

For me the eye contact is like the greatest roller coaster drop through vaporous clouds
For me love is unnatural uneasy but all the greatest forces are
So as my pinky touches yours and I know you’re wanting more
Just know that this is loving me
Probably stranger than any time before
and maybe you should try this confusing method of slow
Because this is all I’ve ever felt this is all I’ve known
But I will meet you in that star studded space of when we move from touching hands to me caressing your face
And it’s one giant step for womankind when you are with me and I can look into your eyes
Because most choose to travel at the speed of light
Follow the obligation of short lives and shorter romances
But here in the solar systems of our minds traveling where no me has gone before I’d like to switch to automatic and just glide a little while more.

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